02 November 2014

I woke up feeling stupid about my dream.
There was this some kind of event, and I was with her. I don’t know what, why, when, where, and how, but I was with her. My surrounding was full of color. Her hair was laid down, not styled in any form. She doesn’t do braids unless somebody does it for her. She was smiling. She was looking at me. I could simply melt by her graze. I smiled back. We went back to watching what we were watching. Outdoors. I could see some grass on the blurry background. Everything else was blurry, except her. She was on my right, sitting beside me. This concrete bench feels so uncomfortable yet I didn’t care. She was there with me.
She came closer, and held my left side with her left arm. I don’t like being held there, yet this time was different. It felt really… good. But I don’t want to think of anything more, so I told her I’ll just get some drinks and she loosened her grip. The time I came back and sat down, she placed her hand on the exact same spot – my left oblique. This time was really different. She laid her head on my right shoulder. I could feel the electricity between us. My face was flushing. I could smell her hair… and her cheeks were caressing my shoulder.
This was too much, too much for me to handle. I asked her “ano na ba talaga tayo?” and held her left hand still on my side with my right hand. “Ano ba sa tingin mo?” she replied. I was about to say something, but suddenly I was awoken by the soft sunlight rushing through the window of my room facing the new day.
And from that moment, I had confirmed that I like her. But I don’t want to like her. I know that this would simply end tragically, and I don’t want to lose the friendship we made. I want to get away from her, but then I ended up texting her some minutes after.